It’s too late for me
Week 5: Five thoughts that are ruining your life - and how to change them
Happy Friday, Intentionalists!
Continuing our series Five Thoughts that are Ruining Your Life, we have reached our final thought: ‘It’s too late for me’.
Variations of this thought include:
‘I’m too old to …’ or;
‘I’ll never be …’
You fill in the blanks.
Before surrendering to any belief, it’s important to see if there’s evidence to support or refute it. While some things like becoming a biological parent or a prima ballerina may have expiration dates, most dreams do not. There are plenty of examples of people starting second careers at 70 years of age or finding their soulmate at 80. Whatever the achievement you think has passed you by, or you think is impossible for you to attain, we recommend you collect stories of people who achieved what you desire despite their age or any other disadvantage. These testimonials will encourage you.
Today let’s deconstruct the belief that life has passed you by and replace it with a much more empowering one:
That it’s never too late to be the person you always wanted to be
So, grab your pen and journal and let’s get started.
PROMPTS
1. What is the thing you think you are ‘too old’ to achieve or that will never happen for you?
2. Could it be that the way you are trying to achieve your dream is what’s working against you rather than your age? Could you take a completely different approach?
If you are certain that it’s absolutely too late for you to achieve a certain dream, then consider this: The whole point of having a dream is to enjoy your life, use your talents and live with a sense of purpose. Therefore, it might be time to think outside the box.
3. What was the feeling or state of being you were hoping to achieve with that unfulfilled dream?
E.g. Were you hoping that having children would give you a sense of connection and fill your home with love? Did you believe that becoming an actor would give you the pleasure of entertaining people?
4. What are the other possible ways you could experience those feelings and states of being?
Writers know that it’s usually not the first idea they think of that produces a bestseller. Very often it’s the second or third idea that comes to them after they have given up pursuing their first idea that proves to be the winning one.
5. Could you consider the above might be also prove true for you? Do you have another dream up your sleeve that you can pursue?
Often a dream that remains unfulfilled becomes a romantic notion. Just like unrequited love, it sometimes works much better in our imaginations than it would have in real life.
Write a paragraph about what it might have looked like if you had gotten your first dream, and it all went haywire and was not at all what you hoped for.
Hint: You can have some creative fun and a bit of a giggle with this prompt e.g. You did fulfil your dream of becoming an African safari guide, but you got eaten by a lion …
Now write a paragraph of your new dream where the result is more wonderful than you ever had imagined it could be.
Congratulations, you now have a new dream to pursue!
Surprisingly, whether you accomplish your dreams or not doesn’t always correlate with your happiness. Research shows that while newlyweds experience a lift in their life satisfaction for the first 12 months of their marriage, after that, their levels of happiness return to where they were before they got married.
Happiness is a state of mind best practised every day of your life, regardless of accomplishments.
Take a few minutes to write one or two paragraphs about what you can be grateful for and happy about in your life right now. We recommend you make this a daily practice.
Did you miss the first four weeks of our Five Thoughts That Are Ruining Your Life – and How to Change Them series?
Catch up here ↓:
♡ Spread the good vibes ♡
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FEEL GOOD AFFIRMATIONS
I pursue goals and dreams for fun and self-discovery.
What I do or do not accomplish does not define my worth.
Each new day is a chance to go for my dreams afresh.
Life is a grand adventure, and I seize every opportunity to live it to the fullest.
(Say or write out slowly and mindfully ten times)
KELLY’S SILLY BIT
What do you call the delicious week we're in now (if you're reading this in real-time), the week between Christmas Day and New Year?
Where everything is a bit of a blur. It's like being a kid again, isn’t it? What day is it? What time is it? Who cares! Time doesn't exist. You may even feel the deluxe pleasure of BOREDOM if you’re lucky! Dreamy.
While there doesn’t seem to be one universal way to say it, here are a few favourites I’ve collected (I think Norway’s might be my favourite):
Crimbo-limbo
Daft Days | Scotland (from Robert Fergusson’s poem)
Old year's week | ‘‘Altjahrswoche - Switzerland
Festipause
Merrineum
Betwixtmas or 'Twixtmas
Christmas gooch
Between the years | ‘Zwischen den Jahren’ - Germany
Betweenmas or ‘Tweenmas
Taintmas
Between the two holidays | ‘Két ünnep között’ - Hungary
Interval or Gap days | ‘Välipäivät’ - Finland
Space Christmas | ‘Romjul’ - Norway
The days in between | ‘Mellandagarna’ - Sweden
The confectioners' truce | ‘La trêve des confiseurs’ - France (read why here)
Please do forgive me if I have butchered any of the language or translations above.
Do you have a different name for it? Let us know in the comments.
Be an intentionalist.
Belinda & Kelly XX
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