I am not lucky
Week 3: Five thoughts that are ruining your life – and how to change them
Happy Friday, Intentionalists!
We are up to number three in our series ‘Five thoughts that are ruining your life.’
Today’s prompts are for those who believe they’re star-crossed and can’t get a ‘lucky break’ no matter how hard they try.
To be clear, we aren’t referring to a golden hand at gambling here. We are talking about being in the right place at the right time and meeting the right people. This kind of luck is about creating a life of fulfilling work, happy relationships and good health.
Yes, creating. Because as you’ll discover from the prompts below ‘Good Luck’ is something we make for ourselves.
Ready to get luckier in life? Grab a pen and a journal and let’s get started.
PROMPTS
1. Do you believe you are lucky – or unlucky?
Research has shown that the core difference between ‘lucky’ and ‘unlucky’ people is simply whether they believe they are blessed – or cursed.
The belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy as people who believe they are lucky look for evidence of their good fortune and therefore feel more confident to:
Seize opportunities
Take calculated risks, and;
Work towards positive outcomes
Their success then reinforces their belief and creates a positive cycle.
People who believe they are unlucky have the exact opposite outcome.
This has to do with the reticular activating system (RAS) in our brain. (We explain what that is below*). For now, if you want to change your luck you have to change your belief no matter what has happened in your past and no matter how dire your current circumstances appear to be.
Name ten ways you are experiencing good fortune now – or have experienced it in the past.
E.g. You were born in a peaceful country – or escaped a dangerous one, you own a toothbrush, you have a job, etc. It’s vital in writing this list that you don’t compare your luck to someone else’s. For example, ‘I have a toothbrush, but Peter has a sports car, so he is luckier’. This exercise is about improving your own luck.
For the next 30 days, reread this list every morning and add another five ways you are lucky to it each day. In 30 days, your luck (not just your perception of your luck) will change for the better. This is not a woo-woo chain letter or magic. This is based on psychological conditioning and neuroscience.
2. Lucky people interpret failure, challenges and setbacks differently
Lucky people experience the same failures, challenges and setbacks that everyone else does. But they don’t give them the same level of focus and usually interpret them in ways that fuel their success.
Write down a current failure, challenge or setback you are experiencing.
How much time do you spend ruminating on it? How much time have you spent taking action to improve the problem?
How would things change if you were to view this problem not as a setback but an ‘exercise’ or ‘task’ you must complete so that you can reach your goals and live your best life? What would you be doing differently right now if that was your core belief about problems?
3. Lucky people have extensive and positive social networks
Being a hermit might lead to a tranquil life, but it won’t equate to having excellent luck. The more people you interact positively with, the more people you know who could:
Offer you job opportunities,
Make helpful suggestions on achieving your goals, or;
Introduce you to potential intimate partners
If you launch a business or publish a book, you have an instant pool of potential clients/readers from the very beginning.
You don’t have to be the life of the party or an extrovert to make the most of your social networks. You only need to be friendly and genuine.
Think about your current social networks. Are there ways to expand them or make more use of them?
Hint: If you feel you are time-poor and already have too many work and family commitments, you can still build better social networks by getting to know your neighbours, joining community activities that your spouse and children can also participate in, or joining associations that improve your work opportunities E.g. Women in Business, etc
4. Give up your hard luck story
We all have a hard luck story. Even lucky people. Difficult childhoods, chronic illnesses, divorce, financial losses, etc
Note: If you're in the middle of something in your life right now, we are so sorry. You might not be ready to navigate this part just yet, and that’s ok! Feeling your emotions is important, so please do that first. If you need to, bookmark this for when you're ready. You've got this xx
What is your hard luck story?
E.g. My spouse had an affair and left me for that other person. I was shattered and things went from bad to worse …
When you meet someone new, how quickly do you tell them your hard luck story? The first time you meet them? After a few months? After a year? Never?
If you are telling strangers your hard luck story very soon after meeting them, you may have made bad fortune part of your identity, which will make it even harder for you to perceive yourself as lucky.
What would be an inspirational story where you turned your hard luck around?
E.g. My spouse had an affair and left me for another person. I was shattered. But with determination, I created a new and happier life for myself. I tried new things, I met new people, and I started to be healthier and more adventurous. Now, despite what happened, I feel better about my life than ever.
Whenever you think about your hard luck story, this is the story you are going to tell yourself instead, even if you haven’t experienced the ‘good part’ yet. Again, this comes back to using the RAS system in your brain to your advantage.
When you meet other people, and you can’t resist telling them your hard luck story, from now on you must include in it how you intend to turn your hard luck story into an inspirational story. Instead of commiserating with you (and further cementing your identity as a victim) most people will cheer you on and may even think of ways that they can help you on your positive journey – this will definitely make you a ‘luckier’ person.
Remember, you create your own good fortune! Gook luck!
*The RAS is a network of nerves that is responsible for instructing your brain what to notice and what to ignore. It will guide your behaviour accordingly. Therefore, if you believe you are lucky, the RAS will focus on opportunities for good fortune, helpful people and positive situations and guide you to move towards them. If you believe you are unlucky, the brain will block out anything that looks like good luck and move you towards unlucky situations. This is an efficiency mechanism that stops your brain from becoming overloaded – you can’t pay attention to absolutely everything, so you must select what to focus on.
Miss the first two weeks of our Five Thoughts That Are Ruining Your Life – and How to Change Them series?
Catch up here ↓:
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FEEL GOOD AFFIRMATIONS
I am a lucky person
Every day brings me new opportunities to shine
I create my own good fortune
(Say or write out this affirmation slowly ten times)
KELLY’S SILLY BIT
Belinda and I are big animal lovers, so I thought it would be apt to share some silly-sounding but interesting animal facts. If you have little ones, they’ll enjoy these.
The warty comb jellyfish doesn’t have a bum hole
It has no permanent connection between the gut and its butt. When it needs to poo, its gut merges with an outer layer of its "skin" to form a temporary hole. Once it's done its thing, the hole seals itself shut and POOF! It’s gone! Disappearing bum hole!Did you know that crocodiles can gallop like horses? ↓
Watch the whole clip here.
Female Kangaroos have three vaginas and two wombs
This particular arrangement is common to many marsupials (mammals who carry their young in pouches). Yep! Koalas, wombats, and Tasmanian devils ALSO have a three-vagina structure.
The two side vaginas transport sperm to the two uteruses, while the central vagina delivers the joey to the outside world.Speaking of threes, both the Octopus and squid have three hearts
One heart pumps blood through the system and the other two take care of the gills.Giraffes hum at night (no this isn't the title of a kid’s book … it should be though)
Biologists think this humming sound is useful for giraffes to signal other members in the dark, helping them to find each other and warn of danger. Some researchers think they sleep talk too. How cute!
Platypuses sweat milk. WHAT?
Yep! It's because they don't have teats, the milk just oozes from the surface of their skin.
Technically they don't SWEAT at all (as they are aquatic) but you get what I meanFish form orderly queues in emergencies
In scary fish scenarios, schools of neon tetra fish queue so that they don’t collide or clog up the line. Fish have better manners than some humans!
Angry ants SMELL!
When feeling cross (or feeling threatened or whilst squashed), many species of ants release strong-smelling chemicals. E.g. if you smell chocolate, you've given a trap-jaw ant the irits!
Be an intentionalist.
Belinda & Kelly XX
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