I am not good enough
Week 1: Five Thoughts that are Ruining Your Life
Happy Friday, Intentionalists!
The motivation coach, Anthony Robbins, once said that:
‘The only difference between happy people and unhappy people is that happy people are thinking about all the reasons to be happy, while unhappy people are thinking about all the reasons to be unhappy.’
There’s no doubt that the quality of our thoughts impacts the quality of our lives.
Unfortunately, our brain’s role in keeping us safe (rather than happy and content) means it has a natural bias towards:
Criticism
Complaining, and;
Catastrophising
It’s up to us to guide it towards the thoughts that serve us better.
With awareness and practice we can gradually condition ourselves to think more effectively – and as a result create happy lives.
Over the next few weeks, we are going to address the five most prevalent negative thoughts that ruin our lives and happiness. We are going to break them down, question them and then replace them with thoughts that serve us better.
So grab your journal and a pen and let’s get started!
JOURNAL PROMPTS
WEEK ONE: I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH
Question 1
By what standard do you think you are not good enough? Who or what are you measuring yourself against?
Question 2
Do these standards reflect what you really want to do with your life?
For instance, if you are comparing yourself to an actor in an advertisement who is driving a Ferrari, is that truly what you want for your life too? Or are you more attracted to being a great parent? Living your life creatively? Having the freedom to travel to some out-of-the-way places?
Question 3
What are some of your unique qualities and achievements?
E.g. Do you have a quirky sense of humour? Did you teach yourself to paint in oils? Are you good at organising things? List at least twenty qualities and achievements that you like about yourself. (Tip: if you get stuck, ask a good friend to help you answer the question)
Question 4
1. Are you a perfectionist? Do you feel badly about yourself if you don’t do something perfectly?
What’s your response to these statements?
Perfectionism is the enemy of excellence
Your need for perfectionism makes you less fun to be around
Are you worried that if you thought you were ‘good enough’ you would become lazy and unmotivated? Or would perhaps thinking that you are good enough allow you to try new things without being paralysed by a fear of failure?
What would your life be like if you let go of being perfect, and instead saw yourself as a work in progress?
Question 5
1. What are some ways you could feel good about yourself right now? What would your day look and feel like if you did?
♡ Spread the good vibes ♡
Do you think a mate would enjoy today’s newsletter? We’d love it if you invited them to subscribe 💌
FEEL GOOD AFFIRMATIONS
I am learning and growing every day, and that is good enough.
I embrace my uniqueness
I focus on progress not perfection
(Say or write out this affirmation slowly ten times)
KELLY’S SILLY BIT
Did you know:
Laughing came before language. Before we could talk, we worked out we could laugh.
Imagine being a cave person and seeing someone slip comically down a hill and finding yourself losing your gear at them. Brilliant.
This tidbit was worked out by tickling tiny little baby apes. Yes, you read that right.
Turns out, apes cracking up and humans cracking up have a lot in common! Our laughs share the same structure, hinting that laughter might actually be a wonderful ancient family heirloom passed down from a shared primate ancestor millions of years ago—way before anyone figured out how to say, ‘Good one, funny face!’
This is the work of professor Sophie Scott, a neuroscientist and laughter expert at University College London who believes that the laughing response evolved in mammals as a form of social bonding. Read more here if you’re interested.
Are you ticklish? Did you also know tickling has historically been used as a form of torture 😅 much like The Three Stooges did in Self Made Maids below (sorry, it’s a Shemp, no Curly in this one):
Not so fun or funny but Self Made Maids was made in 1950, unfortunately, Curly had a major stroke that forced him to retire in 1946 during the filming of Half-Wits' Holiday.
Small chimp laughing (for science):
Lastly, I have a COMPLETELY UNRELATED question for you:
Do you know what a nurdle* is?
I just learned this and I HAVE TO SHARE IT WITH YOU! Scroll down to find out.
That’s it for this week, intentionalists! It’s been some intensive inner work today, so drink a tall glass of water, give yourself a pat on the back or have a tickle fight.
Today’s affirmations are super important in changing your thoughts about not being good enough. As well as saying/writing them 10 x today, we suggest you keep up the practice as soon as you wake up every morning.
The Intentionalist is all about living a happy and inspired life.
Be an intentionalist.
Belinda & Kelly XX
PS - Tap the ♡ button on this post if you enjoyed it! It helps people discover it on Substack and please be sure to tell us what you think in the comments!
PPS* - A nurdle is that dab of toothpaste that sits on your toothbrush! See Colgate Nurdle lawsuit
♡ Read our previous newsletters ♡