Be Your Own Guru
In an age of influencers, frauds and nutcases
Happy Friday, Intentionalists!
Kelly and I love the community we are building through our newsletter. We know that our subscribers are people like us: Humans who are interested in personal growth, improving their mindsets, becoming happier and shining their light brighter in the world.
But in a society where the messages sent out to us are becoming ridiculously deceitful, we need to be more discerning than ever about what information we take in and who we decide to listen to.
Before the internet, spiritual teachers and mindset coaches needed to have at least a degree of credibility. They usually built up their names through lecture tours or publishing books through traditional publishing houses that had concern for their own reputations. Often, we found out about them through recommendations by friends. Not that this was always foolproof - scammers have been around since the dawn of time - but it wasn’t as easy for just anybody to set up a podcast, offer an online course without any accreditation, or position themselves as an expert with no formal degree.
We are all innate spiritual beings with a direct relationship to the universal, unifying field. It doesn’t matter if we call that force ‘God’, ‘The Divine’ or, more scientifically, ‘The void’. It’s part of our nature, and we don’t need any intermediaries to commune with it.
Any of us, when we quiet our own minds and become still, can feel a gentle sense of wisdom speak to us. Our relationship to it will be unique, because we are unique.
It’s the same with our mind. That is an innate part of us, and we have complete ownership of it.
That said, most of us want to grow and develop, so it’s natural for us to seek out people who seem to have greater skills and wisdom. But we must always keep in mind that these people are also faulted humans. We must never surrender ourselves to them as if they are infallible gods.
Mel Robbins’ The Let Them Theory was a huge publishing success this year. The book was recommended to me by several people, and I enjoyed it very much. I read three or four personal development books a month, and I thought Mel Robbins had some refreshing takes on relationships. I applied some of her advice to certain situations in my life and did experience marked improvement. Other parts of the book were not so relevant to me.
So, I was surprised to meet a woman who had a strong negative reaction to the book because one part of it didn’t apply to her unique family situation. ‘Mel Robbins is a fraud, and the book is full of terrible advice!’ she said.
The Let Them Theory sold millions of copies, so it would be impossible for Mel Robbins to give advice that would have applied in every aspect of every one of those readers’ lives. I realised that the woman wasn’t looking for a well-written book with some helpful information: She was looking for the one book that would give her the ‘rules’ of life, hoping that if she followed them exactly, everything would turn out well.
We all tend to do this at times. The journey of life can sometimes be very hard, heartbreaking and confusing. Wouldn’t it be great if we just had an instruction manual that told us what to do at any given time!
But life isn’t as simple as that. There are so many layers, contradictions and twists that we must negotiate.
Because we are all so unique, it’s important that we each centre ourselves as the authority in our own lives rather than give our power away to anyone else. We must be our own gurus.
Here are some tips on how to do it.
Develop your own spiritual/mindset practices that make sense to you, eg meditation, walks in nature, prayer, writing out affirmations, etc
Respect that other people will have their own spiritual/mindset practices and don’t get into arguments about the ‘right’ way to do something so personal and unique to each of us.
If you would like to join a group (for example, a prayer group or a mastermind group), always know that you are totally free to walk away at any time if something in the group dynamic doesn’t work for you. Never let anyone pressure you to conform to their way of thinking or to manipulate you into staying when you don’t feel comfortable. (eg ‘You are a quitter’, etc).
View your personal growth as a science experiment. Try things out. See what works and what doesn’t work for you. It’s okay to apply your rational mind as well as your intuitive mind to spiritual/mindset practices.
Listen to experts, read books and go to lectures with an open but discerning mind. Always question what you are hearing. ‘Does this seem true to me?’ ‘Do I feel comfortable doing this? Why or why not?’
Know that even experts are fallible human beings. Don’t put them on pedestals. Attend their classes or read their books with the mindset that they have a skill or knowledge that you might be able to apply to your life. But never follow another human being blindly or with wide-eyed devotion.
Keep a journal. There is something about writing your thoughts and experiences down and evaluating what you are doing that brings spiritual and mental clarity.
We hope you have enjoyed today’s topic! I would also like to end by saying that Kelly and I do not position ourselves as experts on anything except cats (me) and the Beatles (her). We are two fallible human beings who fall down frequently but also get up time and time again. We love to learn and grow and to share our experiences with other like-minded people. We are so happy to have you along with us on this wild ride called life!
Catch-up:
What is crush energy?
Fabulous Christmas Gift Guide
Protein for your mind
Don’t wait for January: start your NYE resolutions now
MEET THE INTENTIONALISTS
Belinda Alexandra is the bestselling author of eleven fiction novels, a memoir and a book about women and cats. Kelly Morton is a professional web designer and creative business owner. We’re the co-creators of The Feel Good NOW Journal – a 90-day conditioning program and goal-setting journal that will have you feeling good, inspired and ready for anything.
Grab yourself a copy to create a great 2026!
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🤍 WHAT BELINDA IS ENJOYING:
♥ Walks in nature
♥ Writing on her balcony with a visiting cockatoo for company
♥ Planning some awesome stretch goals for 2026
🖤 WHAT KELLY IS ENJOYING:
Cuddles with my beautiful mum’s new baby chihuahua puppy, Harpo. He is a super snuggly fella who has found he quite likes perching himself on my top shelf. I’m still navigating my own heartbreak after losing my dog, Mikey, and I feel like this little guy somehow knows.
⚘ If you think a friend could do with its uplifting message, feel free to use the button below to share it with them. Let’s make life good together ⚘
KELLY’S SILLY BIT
Silly Xmas Slang
Show these to your family at Christmas lunch or with your mates, and let me know what they think.
Bellycheer
Meaning: A brilliant 16th-century word for the absolute satisfaction that comes from eating and drinking lots, or holiday gluttony.Bellycheer? BellyWOOHOO!
Don
Meaning: It comes from “do on,” which means to put on your clothes. So in Deck the Halls, Don we now our gay apparel. We’re putting on our best gear.
Is Don. Is Good.Crawmassing
Meaning: Picking through your Christmas leftovers and eating the scraps as you go.
You best believe I’ll crawmass my arse out come Boxing Day.Ramracketting
Meaning: Excitement! Running and jumping about playfully. Think of kids on Christmas morning.
Or the adults at the pub on Christmas Eve, for that matter.Wassail
Meaning: A super old term (late 1100s). It can mean Spiced ale or cider, or it can also mean to toast someone, to drink with much merriment or to go carolling in exchange for food and drink.
Wassail to us all!Overquat
Meaning: To describe that feeling of having eaten waaaaay too much.I always overquat at Xmas. It’s because I’m so busy crawmassing.
Yuleshard
Meaning: Someone who leaves Christmas tasks to the verrry last minute. Or, someone who doesn’t get new clothes for Christmas.
Happy Christmas, you beautiful legends.
Be an intentionalist.
Belinda & Kelly XX
PS: Say ahoy, and let us know what you think in the comments
An enjoyable read first thing this morning. Loved Kelly’s slang meanings. Happy Christmas to you both!🎅🎄🎁❤️