Stop waiting for your life to begin

How to live your best life now

Happy Friday, Intentionalists!

Does your life ever feel like one of these scenarios?

• You’re sitting in a theatre waiting for the film of your life to begin, but all you’re seeing are the advertisements and trailers for other people’s films

• You glorify your youth because you felt so alive then. But now you have a family, a mortgage and a serious job, you’re like a hamster on a wheel – just waiting for some time in the future – always the future – when the craziness might stop, and you’ll be able to breathe again

• You’re a schoolchild waiting patiently for an authority figure to give you permission to start living your life the way you want to

If you feel any of the above, you are not alone. The purpose of our newsletter – and the reason we named it ‘The Intentionalist’ - is because we believe that unless you’re clear about your life and what exactly you want from it, your best days will certainly pass you by.

Today, we are taking inspiration from high-performance coach, Brendon Burchard. Brendon was in a near-fatal car accident when he was a young man. Feeling that he had been given a second chance, and no longer willing to live aimlessly, he began a daily practice of asking himself three key questions:

Did I live?
Did I love?
Did I matter?

You don’t need to wait for some catastrophic event in your life to change direction and start living your best life right now.

The prompts below are for exploration and contemplation about what constitutes a fantastic life for you. Then, we will show you how to incorporate Brendon’s practice so that you can start living that life right now.

So, grab your journal and a pen and let’s get started.

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PROMPTS

1. Are you really living?

• What would being truly alive feel like to you?

• What would you be doing? Who would you be doing it with?

• How big is the gap between where you are now and the life you dream of?

• What’s standing in the way for you?

• What actions could you start taking right now to start living more fully?
  

2. Are you truly loving?

Towards yourself:

• How do you feel about yourself? Do you encourage yourself, or are you very critical of yourself? How could you start to treat yourself better? How could you show kindness towards yourself?

Towards others:

• Who do you love most in your life? What do you think they need from you? Are you giving it to them?

• What things would you like to do with your friends, your family or your partner that would create rich experiences?

• How is your communication with the people you love? Can you think of ways you could be a better listener, more present and more loving?
  

3. Are you making a difference?

• What unique qualities and skills do you currently possess – or could you learn – that would improve the life of your family or your community?

• Do you have a cause that you are passionate about? How can you support it?

• Are you someone who uplifts other people? Do other people feel better for having been around you?

• Are you an upbeat person or a downer? If you tend to be critical or a complainer, what could you start doing to show up with more enthusiasm and optimism?

• Are you maximising your leadership qualities?

• How would you like people to remember you? What would you like your legacy to be?

Okay, now that you have done some excellent groundwork in contemplating what an amazing life would be like, you’re ready to adopt Brendon’s three questions as a daily practice. We suggest you write the questions below on an attractive greeting card (or an index card if you are super practical) and have them on your bedside table.

First thing in the morning, before you start scrolling through your phone, ask yourself these three questions:

1. What can I do today to feel more alive?

2. What can I do today to be more loving?

3. What can I do today to make a difference?

Then spend four or five minutes contemplating the answers.

In the evening, before you go to bed, ask yourself the questions again.

1. Did I really live today? Why or why not?

2. Was I loving today? How can I be more loving tomorrow?

3. Did I make a difference today? How can I make a bigger difference tomorrow?

Brendon Burchard went from a depressed, suicidal young man to the number one high-performance coach in the world by asking himself these three questions every day. Try it starting the practice from today, and we are very confident you will soon be living your best life!

If you would like to supercharge the results of adopting Brendon’s three questions, we suggest you also look at last week’s post:

Boost your happiness in 7 days

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FEEL GOOD AFFIRMATIONS

I am choosing to live life to the fullest.

I love fully and deeply. I uplift everyone around me.

I bring light with me wherever I go. I make a difference.

Pick an affirmation and say or write it slowly ten times. And if you want to repeat all three affirmations, that’s wonderful too!

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KELLY’S SILLY BIT

Funny Idioms

An idiom is an expression that has a meaning that is different from the literal meaning of the words in the phrase.

Example: When you say you're over the moon, you're saying that you’re excited! Elated! Happy!

You haven't actually managed to spring forth with such force that you make it into space, gently leapfrogging the moon and coming back down to earth.

I thought I would share some of my favourite idioms (the first one gets me every time):

• Christ on a bike | No, it’s not Jesus popping a wheelie.
  An excellent Irish exclamation. You say this when you’re shocked, see something unexpected or in exasperation. It can be considered blasphemous by some people (I don’t mean to offend), but I think JC would have to have a sense of humour.

• Mad enough to chew nails and spit tacks | This sounds like something Yosamite Sam would do when super cranky.
  It’s a way to say you are seething with rage. Boiling with anger. Also a variant of saying you could spit blood. Or Spit venom. They all get the point across. You’re super cross!

• They could talk underwater with a mouthful of marbles | This could be a Guinness World Record, maybe?
  Australian slang (weeheey!) It means a chatterbox. We all have a talkative someone in our lives. A loquacious mate who is hard to get off the phone and who doesn’t let you get a word in.

• Chew the fat | This is why I am a vegetarian
  It means to have a long discussion about something. To get into it, a meandering chat. There are a few ideas about its etymology, but nothing concrete. If you’re interested, have a read here.

• Cold as a witches' tit | This one is funny and I love it. But is this saying witches have no body temperature?
  Used to express a feeling about the weather. It comes from Francis Van Wyck Mason’s 1932 book Spider House, an adventure novel about a mysterious house filled with deadly secrets. Has anyone read this? Where does the witch and her boozies come into it?

• The bees’ knees | Eee, this one is so cute. Beautiful bees and their tiny knees.
  It means something is excellent, greatly admired, or of the best quality. It’s of unclear origin but from the year 1922. There seemed to be a lot of other great animal idioms at the time that mean the same thing. You’re probably across the cat ones: cat's pyjamas, cat's whiskers, cat's meow. But have you heard of the gnat's elbow or the monkey's eyebrows? Also, it was apparently all the rage in the 1920s. And YES, bees do have knees!

• As flash as a rat with a gold tooth | Fancy pants rats. Terrifying to me.
  More Aussie slang - You whip this one out when someone has dressed up, looking very showy, but has something off about them. You don’t trust them.

• Hen Convention | This is what my dad calls it when my best friend and I get together and laugh uncontrollably
  Ok. I genuinely thought this was an idiom, but in my research, it seems to be one of those family sayings you think other people know! I’m leaving it here, though, because it amuses me greatly, and also I think I found where it came from! The Hen Convention by Thomas Rome was recorded in 1896 on a wax cylinder and is the earliest known Australian sound recording! Vocalist John James Villiers, with piano accompaniment, performs a song that features imitations of chickens!! I.e. what my friend and I sound like cackling away together!

Read more at the NFSA website

Is there an idiom that makes you giggle? Or maybe you have a family saying you thought was an ACTUAL saying but learned it isn’t😅. We’d love to hear them!

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Be an intentionalist.

Belinda & Kelly XX

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The Intentionalist is a work of nonfiction, intended by the authors as a general guide to wellbeing. The authors do not prescribe the use of any technique, either directly or indirectly, as treatment for physical, psychological or medical issues, without the consent of a medical doctor. The authors cannot be made liable for any misuse of the information provided.