Spot the green flags in your life
And wave them like crazy
Happy Friday, Intentionalists!
You know about red flags: Those warning signs that a relationship or situation is dangerous, and you need to stop and withdraw as soon as possible.
Signs like:
⚑ Dishonesty
⚑ Emotional manipulation
⚑ Lack of empathy
But what about green flags? Indications that someone or something is good for us? Are you as good at spotting them - and making the most of them?
The green flags in our lives have a direct effect on the quality of our existence, especially our mental health and happiness.
Today, lets identify green flags and how to make the most of them.
Grab your journal and a pen and lets go green!
JOURNAL PROMPTS
Question 1
Who are the people in your life who make you feel safe, heard and valued? What is it that these people say and do that makes you feel at ease and confident when you are with them?
Question 2
Are you spending quality time with these people? Do you value them in return? If not, what are some things you can delete from your schedule so you can spend more time with these green flag people?*
*If you don’t have any green flag people in your life, ask yourself these questions:
What kind of people do I have in my life? Why are they there? Can I safely remove myself from their influence and seek out more green flag people?
Question 3
Who are the people who make you feel slightly uncomfortable – but in a good way? People who inspire and challenge you to stretch yourself and to get out of your comfort zone? They might be people you know in person, or people who you read about or see online.
What is it exactly about these people that you admire? Do you see ways that you could develop those qualities in your own life?
Question 4
This may be uncomfortable, but you can do this. Are you ready?
Do you have the qualities of a green or a red flag person?
⚑ Are you honest and open with people? Or do you use flattery or manipulation to get people to do what you want?
⚑ Do you listen actively, without judgement, to your friends and family?
⚑ Can people disagree with you without you getting nasty or stonewalling them?
⚑ Do you handle difficult people calmly?
⚑ Do you refrain from being abusive even when someone angers you, including complete strangers on social media and ‘incompetent’ drivers on the road?
⚑ Do you handle your stress in positive ways e.g. exercise, reading or meditation? Or do you lash out at people?
⚑ Are you able to love people without becoming overly attached or co-dependent?
⚑ Do you generally feel good about yourself?
⚑ Do you tend to push good green flag people away? Are you attracted to red flag people even though you know they will hurt and disappoint you?
Urgh! It’s hard to look within! Even worse to think that we might engage in red flag behaviour ourselves. (Isn’t that only for sociopaths?). But congratulations for having the courage to do it. Now that you’re conscious of your behaviour, you can take steps to change it to make your life (and the lives of those who love you) easier. There are so many resources available to help you. Write down some that you are going to explore today. For instance, will you get a referral to a psychologist who in specialises in cognitive therapy? Will you buy or borrow from the library a personal development book about the area of your life you want to improve? Will you take time out today to watch a free online coaching video? Will you speak to a trusted green flag friend about the challenges you are having?
Question 5
Think over the past month about the activities and moments that you have enjoyed most. For example, preparing a great meal, going for a hike with friends, being greeted by your pet when you came home, reading a page-turner of a novel. List them here:
Don’t underestimate the power of these green flags to immeasurably improve the quality of your life.
Elevated emotions such as:
⚑ Happiness
⚑ Contentment
⚑ Enthusiasm
⚑ Love
Improve your health, help with your concentration, boost your energy levels and increase sleep quality.
Are there ways you can lean into these green flag activities and moments more? For instance, can you make hiking with friends a regular activity? Can you spend more time playing with or walking your pet? Can you read more instead of scrolling your phone?
This week we hope you will wave your green flags loudly and proudly. Have a wonderful time, folks!
♡ Spread the good vibes ♡
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FEEL GOOD AFFIRMATION
I notice all that is good and positive in my life. I am so appreciative and grateful for green flag moments and people.
(Say or write out this affirmation slowly ten times)
KELLY’S SILLY BIT
Words and silliness go together. It can be the way a word is delivered that makes you laugh.
EEEEEEE - YESSSSSSSSSSS
If you read that in the voice of the character from The Simpsons below, well done. A+. You too are quite silly. I like you.
If that hasn’t rung any bells, click on the video for the quick sound bite, so you know what it sounds like.
Why is that so familiar? Why do I know that?
It was familiar to me too but I couldn't put my finger on why. In The Simpson’s he's referred to Yes Guy or ... Frank Nelson Type.
Frank Nelson was an accomplished actor who’s best known for his comedy work on the Jack Benny program, on radio and TV in the 40s and 50s, where he was always playing a salesman of some type popping up in Jack Benny’s life.
Yes, but why would I know it?
Ah, that’s because his trademark EEEEE - YESSSSSSSSS has been parodied in radio, film and TV ever since.
He also popped up:
▶ TailSpin
▶ Dinky Dog
▶ I Love Lucy
▶ The Addams Family
▶ The Flintstones
▶ The Jetsons
▶ The Snorks
▶ Garfield and Friends
EEEEE - YESSSSSSSSS? You want to hear more I hear? This short video has a great compilation of clips:
Here’s some of his iconic work on The Flintstones:
Lastly, speaking of The Simpsons … do you know where Homer got his famous D’oh! from? N’oh?
James Finlayson (the man below here) often played the nemesis of Laurel and Hardy and one of his best-known phrases of outrage was D'oooooohhh!
Hear his D'oooooohhh! below:
When The Simpsons began as a skit on The Tracey Ullman Show, Dan Castellaneta the actor behind Homer, was to voice an 'annoyed grunt' in the script he was reading. Inspired by the above, he said D'oooooohhh! Matt Groening (creator of The Simpsons) wanted it a bit snappier, with a bit more pace. So it was shortened to D'oh!
We hope this week’s newsletter has helped you identify the green flags in your life or perhaps made you want to say YES in a silly way.
If you’re new here, hello! Please go back and peep at our previous newsletters. The Intentionalist is all about living a happy and inspired life.
Be an intentionalist.
Belinda & Kelly XX
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