Stop arguing for your limitations
And fly instead
Happy Friday, Intentionalists!
Today’s newsletter is going to contain a bit of tough love. We know that there are far too many gorgeous stars out there who are not shining as brightly as they could be.
Instead, they are busy arguing for their limitations.
What does ‘arguing for your limitations’ mean? Well, you have probably heard the term ‘limiting beliefs’: Negative ideas we have about ourselves that are often stuck deep in our subconscious and that stop us from living our best lives e.g.
I’m not smart
I’m not loveable
But ‘arguing for our limitations’ is next-level negativity. It’s when we consciously create reasons to stop ourselves living our best lives or reaching our full capabilities. It involves excuses about why we can’t achieve our goals.
A simple example of arguing for a limitation might be the statement:
I’m terrible at remembering names
This is usually said as if not being good at recalling people’s names is something that can’t be changed. Therefore, you won’t try to change it. But unless you have a medical reason, the real reason you can’t remember names will most likely be either:
You aren’t fully present when people introduce themselves to you
You haven’t developed the skill of recalling information
In other words, we are setting limitations for ourselves and then creating reasons why we can’t do something that has no basis in truth.
This impacts the quality of our lives, especially when we argue for limitations about things that matter deeply to us e.g.
Finding a loving partner
Being able to study
Learning new skills
Managing money
Today we are going to be poking and prodding into some uncomfortable places with our prompt questions, so get out your journal and pen, take a deep breath, and let’s get started.
JOURNAL PROMPTS
Question 1
What is something you would truly love to do, but that you think you aren’t capable of achieving?
E.g. getting a new job, making more money, learning to dance, creating a loving relationship, etc
Question 2
What are the reasons you have been giving for why you haven’t or will not be able to achieve that desire? Write them down.
E.g. not enough time, not enough money, not fit enough, you haven’t succeeded in the past, a history of broken relationships, etc
Question 3
Now write down this statement slowly and mindfully:
‘Doing __________* might be hard work and take a lot of persistence but I could do it if I was prepared to put in the effort, organise myself better and work on aspects of myself.’
*fill in the activity/goal you want to do or achieve
How did writing that statement make you feel?
Guilty? Uncomfortable? Rebellious? Annoyed with yourself – or at us? Or did it make you feel hopeful and ready for the challenge? Did you see a glimpse of possibilities?
All feelings are valid, so write down your honest response to the statement.
Now give your body a shake to loosen the tension. Just admitting your limited assumptions about yourself and questioning them takes courage, so good on you for doing that! Now let’s look at some of the things that might be blocking you and causing you to argue for your limitations in the first place.
Question 4
Are you comparing yourself to somebody else?
E.g. you desire to become a successful businessperson but you were born into a disadvantaged family and did not have the chance to complete higher education. Are you comparing yourself to someone born into wealthy circumstances and who went to a prestigious university?
Who are you comparing yourself to and what advantages do you think they have over you?
Now, here’s the kicker. That person probably does have advantages over you. Their life probably is much easier in many respects. BUT, that isn’t a valid reason not to make your own life the best it can be. And guess what? We’ll bet you have heaps of advantages over them e.g.
Problem-solving skills
Excellent friends
A support system
Resilience
Street smarts
Empathy
How would it feel if you were to stop comparing yourself to this person and run your own race instead?
I.e. tap into your unique strengths and work on improving your life a little more each day
Question 5
Do you believe that there is only one way to achieve your goal?
Let’s take for example the goal of earning a high yearly income. If you believe that the only way to do that is to become a property investor, you are wrong. There are many ways to achieve that goal. For instance, you could create a high income by becoming a successful entrepreneur, working in upper management for a corporation, inventing a patented product or working for commission selling a high-value product.
How have you tried to achieve your goal so far? Are there other ways to reach it other than the path you have chosen?
Question 6
Have you made your perceived limitation into your identity?
For instance:
I’m disorganised
I’m unlucky in love
I’m not good with money
I’m not a morning person
Write down your limiting statement. Now write down the actual truth.
For example:
I’m disorganised – I can learn to become more organised. I can change one small habit a week.
I’m unlucky in love – I’ve had bad experiences in the past, but I can learn from them. I can start by loving myself, healing residual traumas, developing healthy boundaries and taking my time to date slowly and consciously before committing myself to anyone.
I’m not good with money – I’ve never learned the skills needed for properly handling my finances. But I am willing to learn them now and improve my relationship with money.
Good work, Intentionalists! It’s not easy to tell ourselves the truth when giving excuses seems so much easier. But as they say, ‘The truth shall set you free!’
We hope you are on the path to getting what you want in life with no limitations. Good luck!
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FEEL GOOD AFFIRMATION
Even though doing/achieving ________* might be difficult and involve overcoming challenges, I believe I can do it, one step at a time.
*fill in the activity/goal you want to do or achieve
(Say or write out this affirmation slowly ten times)
KELLY’S SILLY BIT
I thought I'd sling some silly old slang your way this week for a bit of fun.
Keep these up your sleeve if you need to amuse yourself, annoy a co-worker or confuse/entertain people in general!
Old American Slang:
Sauce Box | A bold or forward person
Clack Box | An excessive, incessant talker or chatterer. Clack box is the more derisive variation of Chatterbox
Go By the Ground | A short person, man or woman
Rattlecap | A volatile or unsteady person
Old Australian Slang:
Piffing a yonnie | This means to throw a stone
Spewing | Super annoyed
Dill | an idiot
Dipstick | Akin to a dill, but harsher
Suck it and see | To try something, to give it a go
Get your bum into gear | Get ready
Whacko the diddle oh, or just wacko | Woo hoo! It’s an exclamation of enthusiastic approval
Old Victorian Slang:
Mutton shunter | term for a policeperson. Not a kind one.
Got the morbs | Used to explain the feeling of being temporarily sad. ‘Morbs’ being short for ‘morbidness’ or ‘morbid feelings’.
Gigglemug | Describes a person with a constant smiling or grinning face. It can also be someone who looks foolishly happy
Bags O’ Mystery | A term for sausages, because no one but the maker knows what is in them!
If you have any old slang, please share it! I love learning new words. The sillier the better!
This go by the ground clack-box best get her bum into gear! See you next week
Be an intentionalist.
Belinda & Kelly XX
PS - Feel free to click the ♡ button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack and please be sure to tell us what you think in the comments!