Make problems a puzzle
Approaches to try
Happy Friday, Intentionalists!
Each week we share prompt questions, calls to action and affirmations to get you feeling great and living life like you mean it.
Watch out for Kelly’s bonus ‘giggle-giver’ because life is too short to be too serious. We suggest writing your responses in a journal so you can refer to them and measure your progress.
PROMPT QUESTIONS
Sometimes when a problem arises, our fear gets the better of us and we attack it with all the force of a military operation: We send in the air force, navy and infantry and blow it to smithereens.
That may annihilate the problem, but without any strategic planning beforehand, it might also cause collateral damage and may even result in new or more complicated problems arising.
Have you ever tried to solve a problem in a state of fear, anger or desperation, and caused more issues to arise in the process? Describe how the situation unfolded.
This week, we are sharing some novel approaches to solving a problem with a calm, analytical and peaceful mind.
Write down a problem that is currently worrying you. Make a clear statement about the problem and write down any component parts to it eg other people, resources, feelings you have about it etc
Now try applying the methods below to that problem. Some will work better than others for your specific problem but try them all out until you find the best one.
Treat the problem as a game or a puzzle
Instead of letting your nerves get the better of you, imagine yourself as a master chess player considering what move to make next on the board. Steeple your fingers under your chin and focus your mind on your next move. Then think how that move will affect the move after that and so on until you have everything mapped out in your brain.
Or you can try seeing your problem as a jigsaw puzzle. Pick out the border pieces first so you have a framework and then start sorting pieces of the problem into piles to be worked on section by section.
When you imagine yourself approaching your problem as a game or a puzzle, how do you feel about it? Calmer? More in control? Powerful? Intrigued? Playful?
Do you agree that when you approach a problem in a powerful state of mind, you have a better chance of solving it effectively?
Approach the problem like a detective solving a case
Get yourself a notebook (a spiral one that can fit in your pocket will be perfect for the part, but any type will do). Write out your problem on the first page. Then list all the people who might be able to help you with the problem or give you advice about it. Write down any research you must do.
How does this approach make you feel about the problem? Less overwhelmed? Curious? Organised? A little bit excited about what you might discover? Like Sherlock Holmes?
If this approach feels like the right one for your problem, number your list in priority order and start working through it until you have solved the case.
How to approach a long-haul problem
When a problem is going to take a while to work through or is ongoing such as a poor relationship with a family member, a divorce or legal process, an ailing loved one etc it is healthy to put boundaries around it so that it doesn’t take over your whole life and make you miserable.
In this case, it’s helpful to think of your life like a pie. Give one slice of the pie to the problem. Then the rest of the slices can consist of what makes up the rest of your life. Be sure to include enjoyable and healthy activities such as time with people who uplift you, exercise and walks in nature, interesting hobbies and social activities etc
Draw a pie and divide it into slices. Give one slice to your problem and the other slices to the good things that make up your life.
Paste a picture of your pie somewhere where you will see it every day – on your fridge, on your mirror, in your journal or on your car dashboard. Then look at it regularly to see what portion of your day you are free to work on your problem – or lament and get angry about it – and what portion of the day you must focus on other things.
Sometimes just doing this exercise gets the problem into perspective. You might have the problem to deal with, but overall your life is great.
For problems that are heartbreaking try the ‘and’ rather than the ‘or’ approach
For instance, if you are grieving the loss of a loved one, that is a heartache that you can’t do much about. It isn’t something you can solve. Grief is something that will soften over time. But you don’t have to devote yourself 100% to suffering. You can let yourself enjoy other things in your life at the same time.
I am grieving the loss of my mother and I am planning a nice holiday with my children
I am dealing with a chronic health condition and I am enjoying discovering new books I haven’t read before
Try writing out your own ‘And’ sentence.
If you believe in a higher power, surrender your problem to it
If you are faced with a problem that seems unsolvable and you believe in a higher power, write out your problem in the form of a letter, asking for help, and then place it in a nice box or journal and get on with your life with a sense of trust and surrender.
If there is a solution to your problem, know that you will be guided towards what steps to take. Sometimes problems resolve on their own this way.
We’d love to hear from you about what you thought about the approaches above. Did you find them helpful? Did they make you feel less overwhelmed and more hopeful about finding a solution or at least finding peace?
FEEL GOOD AFFIRMATION
I find a solution to this problem with peace and ease.
I trust and let go.
(Write this out slowly ten times)
KELLY’S GIGGLE GIVER
Did you know:
If someone is aggressive or drunk in Japan and the police are called, the police have a brilliant and non-violent way to de-escalate them. They roll the person up like a little burrito in these huge futon-like things and carry them back to the station until they calm down!
Be an Intentionalist
To be an intentionalist is to live life on purpose.
While goal-setting and intention-setting are related, they’re not the same thing.
Setting a goal is about taking action
Setting an intention is a conscious decision about how you are going to show up in the world – that is, who you’re being
You can set a goal to travel the world, but to become an adventurous, bold, daring or curious person is an intention.
The underlying purpose of the newsletter is to get you feeling great about your life right now.
When you feel good, you feel inspired, passionate, confident and ready to be your greatest self.
With Love and Intention,
Belinda & Kelly XX