Happy Friday, Intentionalists!
Here is an inspiring idea for a Friday: We are all just one action away from creating an amazing life for ourselves!
What is that action for you? Is it:
Finishing a course of study?
Learning a language so that you can work overseas?
Saving to travel?
Getting fit?
Writing a book?
Or even just getting organised?
But here’s the kicker – even though you know performing that one action can transform your life for the better, you struggle to motivate yourself to do it.
The problem might be that you have strong negative associations with that action. For instance, you might imagine that getting fit will involve waking up early on freezing winter mornings to work out at a gym full of sweaty people.
Or that taking a study course will mean less time to socialise. Or you may be overly focused on the idea that you’ll fail if you try.
Focusing on the negative aspects of an empowering action is almost certainly going to lower your motivation to do it. Elite athletes and other high achievers know that thinking only about downsides or perceived deprivations will hamper their ability to be disciplined. So, they spend time visualising all the upsides and benefits of an action instead. Then they lock those good feelings into their nervous systems. This is the power of ‘positive association’.
Luckily, it’s a superpower all of us can harness. So, grab your journal and a pen and let’s get started.
JOURNAL PROMPTS
1. Write down an action you know would be life-changing if you did it, but you can’t seem to motivate yourself to get started.
2. What feelings come up when you think about performing the activity?
E.g. Do you feel overwhelmed? Intimidated? Stressed? Does the action make you feel tired just thinking about it?
3. As thoughts and beliefs produce feelings, what sort of thoughts and beliefs must you have about the action to feel that way about it?
E.g. Do you believe that getting fit will be hard work and unpleasant? Or that studying is lonely?
4. What would be a more empowering thought or belief to have about the action?
E.g. Getting fit doesn’t have to involve going to the gym. You might get as many benefits by taking dance classes, playing a sport with friends a few nights a week, or simply walking your dog twice a day instead of once. Perhaps taking a language class would be a great way to make new friends.
5. Take a fresh page of your journal and write down all the possible ways you could make performing that action feel wonderful.
E.g. Could you get some exercise clothes in your favourite colour? Could you arrange to meet for coffee with a friend after a focused study session? Could you learn to cook the cuisine of the country whose language you want to learn? Could you decorate your study area so it’s a pleasant space to spend time in?
6. Here is a future visualisation exercise:
Write down two paragraphs describing what life will be like once you have completed the action. Write it in present tense, as if you were experiencing your new life now. Include the sounds, smells and feelings you are experiencing.
E.g. I’m sitting in a café in Paris and chatting in fluent French with my work colleagues about the art exhibition I saw the previous weekend. The coffee smells aromatic and the croissant I am eating melts in my mouth. I feel so happy and enriched in my new life. I’m so glad that I took the time to learn the language and open myself up to so many new experiences, etc
7. Now write down again the feelings you have when you think about taking the action you have been resisting.
Have they become more positive? Do you feel more excited? Optimistic? Playful? Hopeful?
Congratulations!
You've mastered using positive association to motivate empowering actions. For this to work most effectively, keep repeating these exercises to help condition your brain to associate the action with positive emotions. This will set you up for success! We suggest you repeat steps 6 and 7 daily for the next 28 days.
Doing so will most certainly make you a winner at life!
♡ Spread the good vibes ♡
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FEEL GOOD AFFIRMATION
I am worthy of a great life, and by *________ I am creating it.
*Fill in the action you wish to take eg getting fit, learning French etc
(Say or write out this affirmation slowly ten times)
KELLY’S GIGGLE GIVER
Literally • [Lit-rah-lee] adverb
Is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as:
In a literal sense or manner: such as:
a: in a way that uses the ordinary or primary meaning of a term or expression
He took the remark literally
a word that can be used both literally and figuratively
b: used to emphasize the truth and accuracy of a statement or description
The party was attended by literally hundreds of people
c: with exact equivalence: with the meaning of each individual word given exactly
The term "Mardi Gras" literally means "Fat Tuesday" in French
d: in a completely accurate way
a story that is basically true even if not literally true
Don't worry this isn’t the start of a year 6 speech (yes, this is how I started mine). Also, brilliant re the above, I didn't know Mardi Gras literally means Fat Tuesday in French until now. Did you?
It's a word that, in recent times, has been widely used to help better emphasise a statement. EG. I could literally eat my arm, I'm so hungry.
Bet you won't.
That's cool though, language is a constant evolution of change.
But I love it when you look at words and think about taking them literally, like:
'Fire at will!" - Oh my god, who is Will?! Will, RUN!
'I've got my eye on you' - *vomits* please remove it or I'll do that again
'I'd like to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage.' - Ohhh no ...
'Keep your eyes peeled' - *vomits again* What's with the eye stuff? I'll keep mine unshaven if that's ok
'I'm in a pickle' - OH MY GOD, HOW DID YOU GET IN THERE?
'Can I pick your brain?' - Please don't
It reminded me of something my friends and I used to do to make each other laugh at school. We called it literally dancing. Years later I saw this bloke, David Armand, doing exactly that. 👇 I’ve put in a clip for you to enjoy below, he’s so good. Damn it, why didn't we think to make it a show? Missed opportunity.
So if you need a good giggle this week, put on your favourite song and have a go, I highly recommend Kylie Minogue's Spinning Around. Best done with someone, the ‘move out of my way’ bit can be especially silly:
Be an intentionalist.
Belinda & Kelly XX
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